The Ugly American

Over my travels I have wondered why Americans have a bad reputation for when they travel. Yesterday, I met that monster in the face and I need to share this with you so that you can watch out when you go on a vacation to not be the (drumroll please) (insert really deep voice)....................UGLY AMERICAN.

I would like to keep the identity of these subjects anonymous, but I will tell you their situation. They are just out of high school, taking a gap year, and they are volunteering in Israel. Anyways I had just retrieved my hat from the desert and I was coming over the dune to walk down to camp and I knew they were American. All the girls had on sweatpants (some with things written on the butt) and sweatshirts. That is a number 1. I walked down to camp and we got ready to see the sunset. They were sitting up on top of a rock (with their sweat suit ensemble). They were talking sooooooooooooooo loud. You could hear them from the other side of the camp. That is number 2. Once the sunset was over (they actually went in before the sunset, weird) they all started to go to the communal tent. They walked past me and I stood up and introduced myself, but they seemed a little closed. I did some things around the camp and went into the tent. They had taken up the entire bottom by the fire and did not leave room for any of the other guests to sit. One guy offered to let us sit, but we said no thank you, hoping he would move over for the other guests. The food was all set up and we said for people to go and eat. The Americans got up and got their food, but they were coming up for seconds before other people had eaten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not cool. After we ate my mom and I decided to strike up a conversation. My mom asked them "Where are you coming from?" They all just turned around and stared. A French lady said in French to us "I guess they don't speak English." The problem with them was that they were still in high school, they gave the dirty smug to anyone who was not in their group, they acted like a clique. I asked them "So what are you guys doing in Israel?" A girl said, "Volunteering." There was a pause and I just looked at her waiting for her to finish and asked "What are you volunteering there for?" The other example was when I asked "Where in the states are you guys from?" They just said, "All over." I waited and then did a hand motion and said "And where in the states...?" I was experiencing the Ugly American reputation. I had met plenty of Americans here that were so friendly and open, but these were very stereotypical and were very closed. I gave up on trying to make conversation after the girls insulted me by saying in a valley girl voice "Like, what do you actually do here?" I replied very politely our daily duties and all I got was sour faces. I decided to go and talk to a girl from American that lived in boon, NC. She was so open and friendly, because I was done with that group. So I will do a quick rundown of what not to do when you travel, so we can together beat this reputation.

1. Don't talk extremely loud
2. Don't wear sweatpants, it looks sloppy
   
3. Offer others seats before yourself
   
4. Always be aware of your surroudings so you can be polite to everyone in your area
5. Don't go up for seconds when some people haven't eaten
6. Engage in conversation and be open to all sorts of people
7. Don't make rude remarks at what others say
8. If you think you are acting like a "typical ugly American," STOP!

Sorry, these people got under my skin, and I felt that It was the right thing to do to share this experience so we can get rid of this reputation.

self-conscious

Today I am feeling insecure about my writing. I feel nervous and uninspired. I believe the reason is because of the counter on my blog. I know it is something interesting to look at, but it is also making me feel self-conscious. My mom has over 100 more views that I do and it makes me want to just quit, and give up. I am jealous and I don’t know why. This blog feels like it is becoming food for my ego, when people write comments about how they like the post, I get booted up. I need to continue to do this for me, and to provide people with an understanding of Jordan, and the Bedouin people. I have lost this. I feel as if I am floating in a fake High School world, where I need to know if my outfit is cute enough to let me climb the social ladder. I need to stop this because it is ruining my days here and instead of being inspired by things, I feel as if I have been searching for them. My friend James wrote me a comment on how one of my posts inspired him to read the Middle Eastern section of the newspaper and gave him strength. I need to read and re-read this because it is inspiration that fuels me. Sometimes, I wish that I had a little secretary inside of my brain that could write down poems, thoughts, or whatever came to my mind, when I got inspired.
I was discussing the other day with my mother, how the arts affect people. We will take writing for instance. When you read, you are in a personal space, weather you be reading out loud or along with someone, it’s in you. Writing is powerful. It persuades, inspires, makes you sick, gives you nightmares, educates you on bed bugs, tells of distant lands, it does everything! Sometimes, I wish that I could just be put in a room with a laptop for a day, and just write everything that came to my mind. Writing is the way that I can be an artist (and it is why I need to stop searching for peoples approval). I don’t know how to paint, make a sculpture, balance ISO in a photo, but I can write. It is simple, but it is the brush with which I paint. Or if you have seen Juno, “The cheese of my macaroni.” I don’t think like a scientist, even though I love science, I don’t live in numbers but in my imagination. I feel bad for people who have stashed away their imagination, in an attempt to grow up. I love to observe human ways and I look at adults and pity them is some ways. Growing up is something entirely different and in an attempt to “grow up,” some have lost their imagination to their jobs, pushed away their dreams because of others, or some that wish to explore the world, but are bound by their own minds. I want to keep my imagination and try to use it everyday, weather it be looking at rocks and finding a funny face, playing a story through my head all day long, or writing. I must keep my fire alive. I can’t have my creativeness and my imagination get smoldered by this counter. This is my creative outlet and I have to remind myself of this or the breeze will snuff my rawness and honesty. Take my writing however way you want it, it is in your personal space. You may exaggerate my feelings; find inspiration in my words, or just curse at my views. Do it! I encourage you to access that special place inside of you. We admire children because of their creativity and their ability to love (and many more reasons), but they also don’t have a tainted imagination. They don’t laugh at each other’s imagination, if they want to imagine an underwater city in their tree house, or see a dog in the way the clouds billow, they are free. Keep this in mind, because you are your imagination and don’t let that light get extinguished. Burn baby burn!
Bisous,
Bailey

Let it fly

Well it was just another day. I am sitting next to the middle son and he is playing around with pictures on the computer while singing. One thing about the people in Wadi Rum is that they are not afraid to sing and dance. (Wooohooo!) I woke up at the camp and had a breakfast of warm pita bread, cheese, pineapple jam, Hulawah (sugary thing), and some sesame paste. I always love eating up at the camp because it is the wonderful little buffet of good food and good tea. I have also become addicted to the tea they drink here. It’s a black tea with tons and tons of sugar in it. However, you only drink small amounts not big huge cups. The tea is always delicious and takes the place of desert after dinner. I feel like answering some questions about things that have happened since we have been here.

Camels.
They are amazing animals that sound like monsters when they talk. The reason that we hurt so badly was because of the way we were sitting. To sit comfortably, you must swing your leg over the camel and ride a type of side saddle. We were riding it like you would a horse, with our legs on both sides. The saddle of camels are not like that of a horse because you ride on top of the hump. (haha, funny animals).

The man slapping me.
It was a bop. It was a playful smack, not a “Oh my god I hate you,” kind of smack. It did hurt though and left a bad taste in my mouth. Don’t think that if you bring your children to the Middle East, they will all get smacked. This is a rare breed.

Eating.
I have no idea what is in the food, but it sure is amazing. They hardly use a refrigerator and all the food is fresh. They use spices, yogurt, vegetables, rice, and a little chicken

Now for random thoughts.
Today I took a nice shower, scrubbed off all the grime. (Yeah, grime, that’s the word.) Everyone that knows me would be very taken a back at my appearance. I take a shower every 3 –4 days, don’t shave (what’s the point if your covered up? Gosh I wish I could see your faces!), no make up what so ever, I wear the same 3 outfits, wash my clothes every 2 weeks, and when I wash my face I turn a different color. But I don’t care! I feel great not having to keep up my appearance, because these people don’t shower every other day, and don’t change their clothes almost all week. That is how the rest of the world lives, and I feel happy to do the same. Even though, I feel so gross sometimes that I have to take a shower in the next 5 minutes. Okay. Well after my shower I pampered myself with some lotion, cleaned my fingernails, and changed into fresh new clothes. I feel good. Earlier today after my hair was dry, I let my hair down. I keep my hair up in a bun or in a ponytail everyday and I was ready to let it fly. I walked up to the mirror and took a step back at the person staring back at me. Who is she? I don’t recognize her? I looked different and I felt different. I have not given myself a good look in the mirror since we have been here. I stood there and looked at my eyes, my nose, my hair, and my whole face. I felt different. This was me, no make up, no thoughts, and no feelings, just me. I looked different. I felt like I had stripped away my teenage hormones, my care for what people thought of me, my fake makeup, etc. Just, Bailey Marie-Francoise Theado. I just hope that I can stay this way, and the aggressive people in France do not corrupt me. (You can probably hint at my feelings towards the country =] )

Well the situation in the house is doing great. I think that a little aunt named “Aunt flow,” might have taken a visit into the house. It was a full moon a couple days ago, and if you have no idea what I am talking about I will just come out and say it. I think that the women in the house may have had their period because the full moon was out. There. I took matters into my own hands; I slept more, and just moved slower. When I would do dishes, I take my time. I just turned my “work” knob to slow, and I feel a lot better and more relaxed. I am going to go chill in the hostel and maybe sleep or play a round of cards.

Coals

Her eyes stung from the smoke of the fire as if the smoke had engulfed her vision and she only had a few minutes of sight left. She calmly unbent her knees and weakly stood up and stretched. She had been kneeling for the past 15 minutes on her little mattress next to the fire in the communal tent, and was ready to move. She excused herself and walked on the cool sand of the tent, pushed away the heavy carpet door, and stepped out into the moonlight. The ripples in the sand glistened in the luminous moonlight that lit up the sky like the sun. She walked across the sand away from the tent, her eyes coming back to life. The cool desert air felt moist and fresh compared to the stuffy smokiness of the tent. She walked up the small rock cliff and stared out at the moonlight desert. The camp was situated in the conversion of the red desert, white desert, and the black desert. In the moonlight they swirled together in different shades as the towering rock cliffs loomed above. She took in every moment of her quiet minute in the desert. Her eyes took in the inspiring sights like a telescope sucks in light. A gust of wind signaled that time was up and she wrapped her scarf up tight around her face. The smell of the scarf was a mix of fire smoke, shisha, and cigarettes, and she wished she could wash it in perfume. She looked down at her clothes and saw the sand stains on her pants, the slight brown tint of her jacket, and she then felt her face and the smooth yet grittiness of the sand on her face. She walked over to the communal tent and glanced up and saw that the tourists had gone to bed and sighed. It was time for her to enter the eternal darkness of her dreams and she was ready. Her body was sore, knuckles sunburned, hair messy, clothes dirty, and her mind tired. She pushed open the door of the tent and walked inside. She made her way to her mattress that was piled with 5lb blankets and struggled to lift them up. Once she was snug in her covers her whole body relaxed. Ferris went out to turn the generator off and the soft buzzing in the desert was gone. Everything quiet. He came back into the tent as the moonlight burst though the door as he pushed it aside. She was quite scared the sleep in the desert because this was her first night being away from her mother in Wadi Rum. That anxiety drowned quickly in the sleepiness of her eyes and the darkness of the room. Sara, Ferris, and Ziad whipped their cigarettes out and searched for a hot coal. Then, Ferris prodded the coals and swished them around and they became alive. She imagined them like sleeping maggots in a vegetable, then some visitor comes and opens it up and they start moving and fighting. The coals laid on a bed of gray and the darkness of the room erupted with a quick glow of orange light. The light of the coals pulsated like drums and together they formed a band of beating light. She tried to comprehend this simple thing that was occurring, and she remembered her Christmas tree in North Carolina. They had gone to Lowe’s and picked up a fiber optic Christmas tree that throbbed with light just as the coals were doing right now. Her mind was wrapped in this simple yet magnificent moment. Ferris, Sara, and Ziad dipped their cigarettes into the sea of coals and lit up. In the air it looked like tiny orange balls of light that would occasional turn into a blaze and reveal a face. She rested her head on her pillow and was unexpectedly happy. She was calm, perfectly content. She wished that every night would be peaceful such as this one. Even if they did not, she would always remember this moment as an amazing simple night in her life. Thank you universe.

Yikes!

Well I seemed to get a lot of responses to my blog post "Bad Vibrations." I would like to respond to Kris's comment about if I get satisfaction from my work. I do get satisfaction from my work. However, sometimes it feels like a drag (like any job =]). When I look at how many mattresses I sewed, I have to find that inner appreciation. It just doesn't feel very satisfactory when I have to do a lot of things that someone in the family could be helping out with, and not just telling me to do it. I think I need to explain the situation because I get the feeling that people are reading into the post way too much, looking for some hidden meaning. I was very vague on my post because I did not want to get into the situation and just talk about how I was feeling. So here I go.

I think that anywhere you go and live with other people, problems are going to happen. Thats what living together and being a family is! I know that things cannot always be great, thats life. Wadi Rum is a very slow village. People drink tea, watch tv, and relax. That does not mean they don't work, it just means that they have lots of time to chill out. Now as helpers, we want to make this place the very best it can be, just at times I feel a little taken for granted. There is always that language barrier, but I don't take it very kindly when someone will say "You make tea now?", or "Wash this.?" I forgive them for the way they communicate because they are not used to it (but one day I will probably meet my limit). When I say I don't feel appreciated or they think we are not working, it is just the vibrations I get in the house. It is hard to describe but something just changed. Another reason why there is a little tension or they do not think we are working is perhaps the difference from Mohammed's view and the daughters and mother. They daughters and mother do no go to the camp and see us working, and talking with tourits (which is very tiring). They see us only in the house and could be a reason why they don't feel we are working, which is understandable. I think that I will just see how the situation develops and maybe be a little more firm on when I can do something and when I can't.

The trip to Aqaba was very tiring. We got our Visas extended very quickly and did not know what to do with our time. We made our way down and found some fast food chains. The burger king and McDonald's is understandable because they are rather global, but Quiznos, Popeyes, and Pizza Hut!!!!!!!!!!!! Crazy. We ended up having some delicious fries, chicken sandwich, and a coke at Burger King. (To get our fix of American food.) We then walked down into the market and bought some toys for the kids, and just some random things we needed. I had 2 very strange incidents happen. My mom and I were sitting eating some cookies when a policeman took a picture of us with his camera phone! I saw him take it out and aim it, then i would look at him and he would pretend to clean the screen. Then he finally took it! Very strange, so we left. I also bought a book to learn Arabic in a shop and got slapped by an old man! I went inside and my mom was standing with her back to me reading a book. I asked him if he sold any books to lean Arabic and he said yes. Then there was a pause. I asked, "where", then he moved. He asked me if this was my sister and I said no it was my mother and he slapped me! Pretty hard too! I didn't smile at all after that and he said something that I was always supposed to say she was my sister. In the middle east, it is okay to smack the little kids and is customary, but he was just a weird Jordanian. I have never met anyone like him and he was very unusual. He then continued to question my mom if she was married and showed her a book of a Kiwi girl that married a bedouin man and Blah blah blah.

We are staying here for 3 months to experience all aspects of the place. That means the good and the bad. I am also 15 years old. How many teenagers work all day for their food and lodging and do school. I think I have a little reason to complain. (Even just a teensy weensy bit) Last week, I was wearing rose colored glasses. This week I feel like I am focusing on the bad, when so many great things have been happening! I think it is just my tiredness kicking in that makes me a little grumpy. In addition to that, when I am tired I am a bag of giggles. I need to focus on the positives and take a walk in the fresh air. That would do me some good. Good things: Yesterday in Aqaba, we got oriental rice mix (my favorite!), and got this HUGEEEE BAR OF CHOCOLATE WITH HAZELNUTS! Yesterday, me, Sarah, and my mom joked up on a rock and watched the most amazing sunset. We did funny voices, and planned on cooking the family a meal. We were thinking about making pasta then I remembered that there is only one fork between the hostel and the house. So we imagined us all picking up spaghetti with our hands and having it hang in the air, trying to eat it! We also danced around in the tent with the family (which is always fun). The best part about it is that the Bedouins cannot keep time, at all! They just kind of kick up their feet and bop around . It is always hilarious to try to imitate them. You look like a dying fish flopping around kicking up your fins! Well I have to go do some math homework! Only 2 more questions left on my speedback! Lots of love <3

Bailey

Analysis

My last post was more about what I felt at school, but now I would like to go into the facts and differences. It was a strange experience that I will never forget, and it is a lot different than school in the states.

1. The culture: I believe that there are 3 cultures in the Middle East. There is the womens culture, mens culture, and public culture. It is interesting when you enter a place that only allows women, you feel part of this secret club. I love to observe situations and found that going to school (being only girls!) felt like a special place. I would love to experience the men's culture as well, but since I ain't no guy. I don't think it is going to happen. However, since I am western girl, I get to do many more things than the girls in the Wadi Rum village.

2. The way the girls dress. When I saw them all line up, they went in a type of time line in dress. The younger girls- little blue frocks over jeans and no head scarf. The little older girls- different blue frocks and some had head scarfs. Older girls- green frocks and all head scarfs. Then oldest (11th and 12th grade) had on long tailored coats that went to their shoes and beautiful head scarfs.

3. The morning announcements. All of the girls lined up silently outside. and said a prayer or pledge of allegiance. Then the principal continued to talk. In the states it is either over a loud speaker and people are not as quiet.

----I think that the size of the school has to do with how the school works, because there are about 200 girls in the entire school. From grades 1-12 (I think).

4. The class rooms. They are not as colorful and exciting. They are very plain and there are no posters or a teachers desk.

5. The way the girls interact in the classroom. They seem excited to learn. For example, the teachers says "And the name of the animal is....?" they would all shout "COW." This was how they interacted with the teacher. Also, when she would ask if someone wanted to answer a question, they would all shoot up their hands and say, "MISS MISS MISS MISS."

(I wondered why they were so excited to learn. In the united states we learn to get into college, and get a job. I thought about what these girls have to work for. Their goals are to have a good family, and maybe some go to a university and work a little, but most not.They learn because they love it. It's extremely inspiring, because our school system kills inspiration and love of learning in me. Because I am not in school, I want to learn and educate myself more. However, when I am in school I do not have that urge.)

(I also felt like an outsider and not very welcome at the school. I think the reason for this is because they do not have much experience and this is something completely new. They don't know how to be outgoing.)

6. The most obvious difference. IT'S ALL IN ARABIC!!!!


Off the topic. OMG! They have the cutest baby goats ever here! They look like little puppies and we got to play with them! Ah-Maze-ZING!

First Day Of School Jitters

Thank you everyone for the wonderful comments! It is so nice to see them and read them!

Last night we had a French family come and sleep in the desert. They had a really sweet little girl, who was 9 years old, and she reminded me of little miss sunshine. Her parents worked for the SNCF (trains and things in France). The mother had the most interesting profession. Before you read on I want you to guess the most random profession you can think of....................................................................................................
She makes furniture out of cardboard!!!! How cool is that?!? She is also a travel writer (something I may want to do in my future). They were so nice, and they even noticed that French people do not seem content. We stayed in the desert 'till about 10:30. We were driven back in a big SUV with plastic on the seats by three doctors. One studied in Algeria, and one in Russia. On the way up we listened to cheesy English 80s songs and Gasolina (if you are older, you may need to ask your teenager about that one =]). Who would ever think that I would be bopping around the desert in the middle east, drinking orange soda, and listening to cheesy 80s songs in an SUV. Who knew? We got home and I was very very very tired. I plopped into bed and was out like a rock. I was planning on going to school tomorrow, and I was very scared that I would be too tired to go. I woke up fine and put on my best outfit for school. I still looked like a hiker, but oh well. Eptisam and I ate breakfast and headed out. We walked out of the driveway and turned to go into the little shop. There was a steady flow of girls coming in and out of the shop with little black plastic bags filled with paprika potato chips, Cheeto's, chocolate wafers, and cookies. I immediately noticed that everyone had on a uniform. The older girls I saw wore green coats, and then group below wore a blue and the group of girls even younger wore a blue variation. The older girls came and greeted Eptisam and she began talking to them. They looked at me with surprise and bewilderment. It was very uncomfortable, so what do I do when I am in a weird situation??? Smile. You got it! I always smile uncomfortably when I don't know what to say or someone is staring at me, anytime I feel awkward. Eptisam left me without a word and walked into the shop. I was left standing out in my tallness and little girls in blue jackets and strawberry shortcake backpacks walked past. Their eyes were magnetically drawn to my western face and uncomfortable aura. I realized that the reason I was uncomfortable was not because some of these girls had head dresses or looked different. It was just school jitters. I was the new girl and I knew nobody. I just looked around and did what??? Smiled. My mom was standing at the edge of the driveway just looking at me with her camera at her side. I felt like it was the first day of kindergarten. (Thanks mom!) Eptisam came out of the store finally and her and her friends started walking away. I trotted over to them (yeah not exactly trot, more like awkward fast walking) and we came to the school which is only about 20 meters away. I got a glimpse of the school yard and there were tons of girls gossiping, kids doing homework, playing soccer. In the activities aspect, It looked like a normal school. We walked in and I followed behind. The girl's school is made of two buildings. On the left there are small classrooms with a tiny little awning. There are about 4 rooms and they are constructed out of cinder blocks. On the right is the school building that has more classrooms. The area between the two buildings is all covered in speckled while tiles. It takes a little dip when you walk closer to the larger school building. All of little girls were playing with a soccer ball in the lower half of the school yard. Everyone was looking at me. EVERYONE! I was about a head taller than everybody. Quite a nice view from the top I must say =] It felt like the first day of school just by the way that people interacted with me and the looks. I have changed schools a lot and I know the feeling. I felt out of my element, not in the sense that I was in the middle east, just the fact that I was in a different school. I was a magnet for everyone. I would have little girls come and stand around me and look at me. We would tell each other our names and then smiles. I felt comfortable in the sense that I was in a different world. This was something that men could not experience, which make me feel secretive and special. There were some women were completely coved with a burqua (face completely covered in black, only eye slits). It was a little strange at first. There was a signal and all of a sudden everyone rushed to the dipped part of the school yard, in front of the school house. All of the girls began to line up into their classes. I was very confused and stood in the front, then noticed everyone was lined up and quickly scurried to the side. I noticed that as the girls got older the dress got different. The youngest girls had on the blue coats and no hair cover, a little older some had their hair covered and different blue coats, then the older girls with green coats and hair covers, and the oldest had on well tailored long jackets and looked very beautifully poised. They began to recite thing and then apparently had their morning announcements. I was studying all the girls and noticed that a little girl had a tiny boy in front of her. He was big chestnut eyes and wore a cute little orange shirt. She had her hands on his shoulders as his eyes went here and there. He looked so cute, he could have been in a TV commercial. There was a signal and Eptisam told me to follow her. We walked into the school building which was very dark because the lights were all turned off. We pasted the office/teachers lounge, and made our way into a nice size class room. The only problem was that the desks were tiny. They looked like antique desks that would have been used in the deep south. Eptisam told me to come sit in between her and her friend. I was in quite a shock because that bench was tiny! I squeezed into the bench and her friend sat down next to me. In came a woman with a white head scarf and a very young face. She did not look at me or smile at me. She spoke in Arabic and one thing after another I was riding a small wave of girls into a science room. It looked just like mine science room back in the states. The hard counter tops with faucets in the center, electrical outlets, and cupboards. In the back of the room was a glass case (nothing in it) and big blue cupboards. The only thing different about this room was that it was very barren.The only color on the wall was the bottom half, which was dark blue and one poster about beach birds. In my school they are covered with inspirational posters that everyone likes to make fun of. We settled in and they were studying the elements and putting them together. I noticed that there was a division in the lessons. There were 4 girls that were studying batteries. The way the class interacted with the teacher was very different. They would chant the words during the lesson, and when they would want to answer a question they would all shoot their hands up and say "miss, miss, miss" They seemed very excited to learn, but they also had a very small class compared to the states. I would take a look outside and see the amazing landscape a have an inside giggle because when I look at the whole situation in retrospect it just sound funny. I have been to school with a Muslim girl in the Wadi Rum desert of Jordan. How cool. I am very lucky. After the class, Eptisam took me to the principle to say thank you. They were all very nice and I walked home. I had been very nervous and just being in a school made me realize that I did not miss school. I like doing my school on internet and traveling. It reminds me that school is around the corner so I need to make the most of my time left.