Got to get it out

Have you ever had the urge to tell someone a secret, draw a picture, make a cupcake, or sing a song. I have had this urge in my chest, like my heart is trying to escape my chest or climb up my throat (very weird image, but oh well!). I need to write. I need to tell someone about how I am feeling and how I am changing. It is like a wave that I can't resist and my body and mind are forced to put it on paper or tell someone. 

I have only been here for about a week and already I feel like I have changed. Something in my soul has flipped. My mind is clearer, and I feel reborn in a strange way. I don't look different, I don't smile different, I am still me, but I have changed. I open up to people and talk easier now. I have gotten out of the habit of saying "Like" every 5 seconds, and can communicate with adults and sound semi-interesting.  When we first arrived I was not very talkative and when tourists would come I would just sit down, smile,  and act really awkward.  Now, I engage in the conversation and love to help Mohammed get tourists to understand why his business is the best and helps the bedouin people. My sentences move more freely, and my thoughts just flow. I like to write because I can think about what I want to say, and no one is pressuring me by looking at me and waiting for me to say something. I can be funnier, smarter, and I am able to express what I truly want to say when I write. Now, I am able to connect my thoughts and put them into sentences a lot easier because i talk to people so much more. I was kind of a hermit and when I did speak it was okay for me to make mistakes because I was learning, but in english, I have no excuse.  I have also changed my way of looking at living situations. When I first got here and saw the rooms of the hostel, it was just a couple mattresses and some blankets. Not many amenities. It took a couple days for it to settle in, but now I say "hey, thats all I need." In america, we waste so much. Here, they keep everything because they can always find a use for it. Even a tiny shard of mirror could be used later, and they keep it. The whole family eats with their hands around a big tray on the floor. I now think. "Hey thats all I need." My way of viewing life on a personal possession level is so different because I don't want more clothes, make up, shoes, etc, because I have everything I need. These people are happy and they get by with such little things that it makes me wonder why Americans need all of it. Huge dining rooms that no one uses, closets full of clothes they don't wear, its disgusting to see how wasteful we are. I have changed because I cannot go back to the states and live the same life, when I think about the people of rum and all that they need. When we came on this trip, I wanted a shock, and boy did I get it. I LOVE IT! Everyone needs to see how other people live because you change for the better and learn to live your life more simply. I am thinking of starting an account where people can donate money, then I will go out and  buy school supplies for the children. Some children go to school without a pen or a pencil, which is wrong! They are amazing kids, bright, and full of life. They deserve to at least be able to go to school with a pencil. I want to try to get people involved to help support the wonderful bedouin life. If you have any ideas, please comment!!!! Our planet needs to keep our cultural diversity, and especially support these wonderful people that have renowned hospitality and  so much love.